Last year, I had to – for the most part – start over writing The House of Jezebel: Fulfilling Destiny in Spite of Your Upbringing. For nearly two decades, my previous writings were based on my Christian upbringing. But as I soon got serious about discerning the paranormal events that I experienced as a child, I underwent a spiritual awakening. I suddenly woke up to the realization that the religious beliefs of my childhood no longer appealed to me. Actually, I speak more on this topic in a blog post entitled Why I Quit Church? ⛪

Nevertheless, diverting from traditional Christianity onto the path of Self-realization meant I’d needed to start over – not only in reestablishing my belief system, but also in my autobiographical writings. That also meant I needed to start promoting The House of Jezebel from an Gnostic or the New Thought perspective. I share more on this spiritual transformation process in the first three episodes of #thojbook podcast. 👂

In having to start afresh, especially when forced to let go of outdated beliefs and intuitively discern new ones, every chapter seemed like it was the worse [to write]. Only later being recognized as a form of therapy within itself, whenever a chapter was finished, I’d breathe a sigh of relief and think: “Now that wasn’t so bad!” 😌 That’s until I got ready to write the next one. That’s when panic and procrastination would set in. 😱

Since I started reading Gary Zukav’s The Seat of the Soul, I’ve been trying to see into the soul of my Jezebel in search of a compassionate side. To see the purpose of the timeline collision of our lives from a different perspective. Perhaps in doing so, I could try to find the why not only in my story but in our stories.

At first, in the hours, days, and weeks after her death, I engaged in emotional warfare since nothing but hurtful and harmful memories surfaced from deep within my soul. Nevertheless, here I am – a good three months later, in search of something good, something purposeful in her existence? Yet I still can’t help but wonder: Can anyone be that evil unless there was a definite purpose in their existence?

There are personalities that are selfish and hostile and negative, but even in these cases, we cannot fully know the reasons why. These are hidden from view. That does not mean that we cannot recognize negativity when we see it, but we cannot judge it. (pp. 27-28)